That's what i'm gonna do

Oh, seconds, hours, so many days You know what you want but how long can you wait? Every moment lasts forever When you feel you've lost your way And what if my chances were already gone I started believing that I could be wrong But you gave me one good reason To fight and never walk away So here I am still holding on

The wait will kill, but it's determined to be there, somewhere hidden in my mind. I will visit the fun-land, explore the funs, meet new people, talk smartly, think wittingly, make the best decisions along the way, no doubt it will be harder than it used to be. Accepting whatever comes forth, expecting the least as well as the worst. Maybe it will drift away, maybe it will stay for long because there's no boundary.

And who can foresee the future? Fate can.

xx

Thoughts

"Ever had that moment with yourself when you know you need to let go of someone/something for the better of your life and you.. but you just can't. Not now. Not knowing when. If ever. If you even can. It's like, you know it has to change. You want to change and move on. But it's just not as simple as hitting delete and wiping out or reseting a moment or memory forever. Maybe the very reason why it's so hard to let go.. is because at that point in time, that person meant so much to you/that moment impacted you the most. But that moment is now gone. The feeling is different. Things have changed. People have changed. We ourselves have changed. Yet still, we're not ready to let go and move on. Hoping, hopelessly hoping. Lingering in that memory. Perhaps in the same way how "some things are/were meant to happen", there are some things and people in our lives, be it good or bad, that are not meant to be forgotten.. perhaps, the very reason why they even happened, was to teach us certain lessons or to understand certain meanings that we only start to realize now, or appreciate in retrospect. But the sad truth is, what's gone is gone and all we can do is reminisce on moments shared and feelings felt. Because what we still feel may not be what the other feels or even remember; and we can't possibly expect the other to feel the same or ever want to go back to that moment. They've moved on. We need to move on too. So here's goodbye to yesterdays and the ones I once knew.. thank you; I won't forget you."

Matthew Zachary Liu

The Immortals; Blue Moon

" Only to push him away like the worst kind of tease.

 And the truth is, it's exactly like he said. He can't change his past, it just is. Once something is done it can't be undone. There's no rewind. No going back.

The only thing a person can ever really do is keep moving forward.

And that's exactly what I need to do.

Take that big leap forward without hesitation, without once looking back. 

Simply forget the past and forge towards the future.

I just wish it were really that easy. "

Alyson Noel 

 Totally addicted to the novel series. Can't wait for the next book!

Thanks to Tanya I've got my reading habit back! Watched the trailer of Evermore and I would still strongly prefer the book, the images created through my imagination based on words will definitely be one of a (my) kind!

xx 

 

Hop hop

Would like to own one of these one day, if I'm able to find them in the first place!

 A lil' something for days like these when I spend the day at home, just surfing the nets and finding my thoughts on the world wide web.

xx

Grateful

It's been quite some time now ever since the story ended and here I am typing down how my life actually changed during this period of time.

First 2 months was indeed the most terrible, torturous, horrible months I ever had in my life. Losing someone once so dear to you, someone whom you think you can share your life with, someone whom you think you can build your house with, and suddenly hes gone for good. Questions left unanswered, and they prevented me from breaking loose to the new world. So, I'm stuck within the little dark circle created by myself. I didn't know who am i any more.

Gradually, by the next few months, I'm used to being alone. Friends who stood by me was there, but I realised...most of my friends were gone. I didn't hang out with my friends when I was with him. Negligence, a painful lesson learnt. Reflecting on myself, what did I do wrong, what did I say which was simply immature, what do I need to change to be a better me? No one tells me the answers, I need to figure them out myself, no one knows better than I am I guess.

Hanging out with friends more often, meeting new people along the way, talking to my folks, figuring out the answers to myself...and finally I could picture everything in my mind. How immature, wilful, stubborn and thoughtless I used to be. Killed the pride whenever his friends were around, bad-tempered attitude little brat I was to him. Everything has a limit and that everything really exceeded his limit, it exploded. I do not blame him for that, I would blame myself for my lousy attitude to him which caused everything. I know I have my wrongs, and I'm fixing them. Thank you for letting me realise my shortcomings.

This relationship is not wasteful at all, I learnt a lot throughout. Be it what to do during a relationship, how should I behave, what are the things which are a no-no to do... In fact, it changed me entirely. A lesson which I will not forget.

"God will never take anything away from you without giving you something so much better."

I have a lot to take back through this experience of a broken relationship. I would say I'm happy with my life now. No more emo nemo moments, but of course...memories are meant to be kept and sometimes they will still pop out in my mind. Memories are served as a reminder too, remind me to be a better person and not to commit the same mistakes again.

For now, all I need to get back are the Little Miss Faith and Little Miss Courage who got lost in midst of the chaos in me. No tears of sorrow should be shed again, but if I do, I know there will be a shoulder for me to cry on. xx